“If you found that one person who is really worth the sacrifices, pain, and hardships then your efforts will not go to waste.” - Anna Agoncillo
Are you in the relationship of your wildest dreams, or existing in a half-life?
If you are the partner of someone with ADHD, thank you for taking the time to care and learn. It will mean the world to them that you’re here trying to understand them better.
Ultimately, it’ll make all the difference to your relationship.
ADHD can affect relationships dramatically. We are here to support you both.
Understanding ADHD, each other, and how to communicate in a healthy way can mean the difference between misery, and the relationship of your wildest dreams.
6 WAYS ADHD AFFECTS RELATIONSHIPS
ADHD often flies under the radar and goes unexplained by both partners. Yet it is real, and once its qualities are understood by you both, things begin to make sense.
Here are some of the ways it affects relationships:
IT CAN SEEM LIKE YOUR PARTNER WITH ADHD DOESN’T LOVE YOU
Although it’s likely they do. In fact, you may well be the most important person in their life.
People with ADHD are extremely sensitive, particularly emotionally.
However, it doesn’t always show! It can seem that you aren’t a priority when you are.
They can lose focus when you are talking because they’re constantly bombarded by other thoughts and stimuli.
Because they’re overloaded, they forget things. Even things you’ve said that have interested them.
They’re often late since they often have little concept of time or are overwhelmed by stress.
Together, these can make them appear careless when they’re juggling all kinds of mental balls, trying to please everyone.
COMMUNICATION DIFFERENCES
Those with ADHD can miss social cues and ‘fluff’. Consequently, they have an unfortunate habit of telling it like it is and offending others without any idea they’ve done so.
For example, they may allude to your gorgeous curly hair as looking like a bird's nest… because it does… with no ill intent toward you or the bird.
The paradox is that they’re extremely sensitive themselves, and on high alert when you say something insensitive. It is lopsided, but also real.
FRUSTRATION AND MELT DOWNS
Heightened sensitivity to physical senses and emotions can be overwhelming, and cause meltdowns.
It’s important to have an overarching framework to help with this, which is why I wrote the A-List Formula.
Most people with ADHD are uncertain about how to state, and take care of their needs. The A-List Formula shows you the big picture in minutes.
It’s also vital to focus on the many qualities the person with ADHD has.
(please check out other resources where we’ve tried to provide clarity)
FAILURE TO FOCUS ON WHAT’S IMPORTANT
Due to living in survival mode with cluttered minds, those with ADHD struggle to prioritize.
This causes them to disappear down rabbit holes.
Or
Become intensely focused, omitting balance, and the time necessary for interpersonal relationships.
THEY CAN BE INTENSE AND OVERWHELMING
They can swing from emotionless, to an all-consuming intensity.
Filled with the wild joy of life, they can be enthusiastic and fun, yet miss the minutiae and details which others find important.
THEY CAN BECOME LOST IN INTENSITY, HYPERFOCUS AND REPETITION
They can become excited about projects and areas of interest with an intensity that drives everyone around them crazy.
When they move into hyperfocus, it can be a good thing, since they finally get things done, but it can lack balance, and make those around them feel ignored and unimportant.
Verbosity and repetition can be irritating. When those with ADHD get excited, they tend to share their observations in detail which can be nauseating.
EFFERVESCENT TO ANXIOUS AND DEPRESSED: THE CYCLE
Effervescence and anxiety have their roots in life.
People with ADHD are born extra sensitive to lots of things
They’re excited and want to share it with others. They explode with energy and excitement.
Busy parents, schools, and society don’t always have time for this, so they’re crushed, feeling alienated, and left out.
They want to fit in, but their brain thinks differently, so they become frustrated.
‘Disorders’ are focused on, rather than strengths, so they doubt themselves, become anxious, and fall into low self-esteem.
Depression literally means de-pressed, pressed down, crushed spirit.
When they remember who they originally are, and dare to ‘be’, they become effervescent again and the cycle begins anew!
WHAT YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW
- Understand ADHD. Check out Our Resources
- Check out the A-List Formula
- Understand your partner and his/her traits that are separate from ADHD
- Notice how your needs and those of your partner connect and begin to think about how you can support one another
5 ACTION STEPS TO TAKE NOW!
List 3 ADHD characteristics of your partner
List 3 fabulous qualities your partner has as a result of ADHD
What 3 things have changed as a result of you understanding ADHD in a new way
What 3 shifts can you make in the relationship to accommodate ADHD
What 3 things can your partner do/ become aware of, to better accommodate your needs in the relationship
The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance, but live right in it, under its roof.” -Barbara Kingsolver
RECOMMENDED FOR YOU
DOWNLOAD OUR FREE ADHD Relationship Survival Guide
Truly understand, connect, and have the relationship you always dreamed.
“If you found that one person who is really worth the sacrifices, pain, and hardships then your efforts will not go to waste.” - Anna Agoncillo
If you are the partner of someone with ADHD, thank you for taking the time to care and learn. It will mean the world to them that you’re here trying to understand them better.
Ultimately, it’ll make all the difference to your relationship.
ADHD can affect relationships dramatically. We are here to support you both.
Understanding ADHD, each other, and how to communicate in a healthy way can mean the difference between misery, and the relationship of your wildest dreams.
RECOMMENDED FOR YOU
DOWNLOAD OUR FREE ADHD Relationship Survival Guide
Truly understand, connect, and have the relationship you always dreamed.
6 WAYS ADHD AFFECTS RELATIONSHIPS
ADHD often flies under the radar and goes unexplained by both partners. Yet it is real, and once its qualities are understood by you both, things begin to make sense.
Here are some of the ways it affects relationships:
IT CAN SEEM LIKE YOUR PARTNER WITH ADHD DOESN’T LOVE YOU
Although it’s likely they do. In fact, you may well be the most important person in their life.
People with ADHD are extremely sensitive, particularly emotionally.
However, it doesn’t always show! It can seem that you aren’t a priority when you are.
They can lose focus when you are talking because they’re constantly bombarded by other thoughts and stimuli.
Because they’re overloaded, they forget things. Even things you’ve said that have interested them.
They’re often late since they often have little concept of time or are overwhelmed by stress.
Together, these can make them appear careless when they’re juggling all kinds of mental balls, trying to please everyone.
COMMUNICATION DIFFERENCES
Those with ADHD can miss social cues and ‘fluff’. Consequently, they have an unfortunate habit of telling it like it is and offending others without any idea they’ve done so.
For example, they may allude to your gorgeous curly hair as looking like a bird's nest… because it does… with no ill intent toward you or the bird.
The paradox is that they’re extremely sensitive themselves, and on high alert when you say something insensitive. It is lopsided, but also real.
FRUSTRATION AND MELT DOWNS
Heightened sensitivity to physical senses and emotions can be overwhelming, and cause meltdowns.
It’s important to have an overarching framework to help with this, which is why I wrote the A-List Formula.
Most people with ADHD are uncertain about how to state, and take care of their needs. The A-List Formula shows you the big picture in minutes.
It’s also vital to focus on the many qualities the person with ADHD has.
(please check out other resources where we’ve tried to provide clarity)
FAILURE TO FOCUS ON WHAT’S IMPORTANT
Due to living in survival mode with cluttered minds, those with ADHD struggle to prioritize.
This causes them to disappear down rabbit holes.
Or
Become intensely focused, omitting balance, and the time necessary for interpersonal relationships.
THEY CAN BE INTENSE AND OVERWHELMING
They can swing from emotionless, to an all-consuming intensity.
Filled with the wild joy of life, they can be enthusiastic and fun, yet miss the minutiae and details which others find important.
THEY CAN BECOME LOST IN INTENSITY, HYPERFOCUS AND REPETITION
They can become excited about projects and areas of interest with an intensity that drives everyone around them crazy.
When they move into hyperfocus, it can be a good thing, since they finally get things done, but it can lack balance, and make those around them feel ignored and unimportant.
Verbosity and repetition can be irritating. When those with ADHD get excited, they tend to share their observations in detail which can be nauseating.
EFFERVESCENT TO ANXIOUS AND DEPRESSED: THE CYCLE
Effervescence and anxiety have their roots in life.
People with ADHD are born extra sensitive to lots of things
They’re excited and want to share it with others. They explode with energy and excitement.
Busy parents, schools, and society don’t always have time for this, so they’re crushed, feeling alienated, and left out.
They want to fit in, but their brain thinks differently, so they become frustrated.
‘Disorders’ are focused on, rather than strengths, so they doubt themselves, become anxious, and fall into low self-esteem.
Depression literally means de-pressed, pressed down, crushed spirit.
When they remember who they originally are, and dare to ‘be’, they become effervescent again and the cycle begins anew!
WHAT YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW
- Understand ADHD. Check out Our Resources
- Check out the A-List Formula
- Understand your partner and his/her traits that are separate from ADHD
- Notice how your needs and those of your partner connect and begin to think about how you can support one another
5 ACTION STEPS TO TAKE NOW!
List 3 ADHD characteristics of your partner
List 3 fabulous qualities your partner has as a result of ADHD
What 3 things have changed as a result of you understanding ADHD in a new way
What 3 shifts can you make in the relationship to accommodate ADHD
What 3 things can your partner do/ become aware of, to better accommodate your needs in the relationship
The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance, but live right in it, under its roof.” -Barbara Kingsolver
ADHDRedefined
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