The Key to Being Socially Accepted

Skye Baloo Carnegie, ADHD, Autism, HSP, ADHD Young Adult, ADHD Teen, ADHD Teenager

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” - Buddha

IMAGINE YOU ARE POPULAR

Think of the most popular people you know. Not popular because they’re ‘famous’, but popular because they’re good people.

What is it about them?

There are usually 2 factors which make people magnetic:

They’re comfortable in their own skin.
They’re not lost in their own ‘stuff’. Instead, they exude confidence, kindness, and laughter.

WHAT GOES WRONG WHEN YOU HAVE ADHD

1. Much of ADHD life is spent surviving.
2. A lot of time is spent people-pleasing, or trying to have people know you for who you truly are.
3. When people are born, they quickly learn to people please so they get picked up and fed as babies. We do anything in order to survive.

As we get older, we discover that no one really likes us unless we’re our true selves.

Problem is, that by this time, we haven’t got a clue who we are anymore.

1. Those with ADHD are high energy, inattentive, have poor memory, run late, etc. Since they appear to be a hot mess, people overlook the tremendous good.
2. This means self-esteem and confidence take a huge beating.
3. What makes it worse, is that those with ADHD are extra sensitive. They hurt more, and react more.

THE KEY TO SUCCESS

Is to let go of the trying, the people-pleasing, and simply be yourself.
This is easier than it sounds because there’s this built-in desire to matter and belong.
For this reason, people with ADHD don’t risk being themselves until they hit rock bottom.
Being yourself is ultimately the only way to win popularity.
Even if being you means you struggle. The key is to sit with yourself and embrace your struggles (overcoming them makes you strong).
You don’t need to pretend that parts of you don’t exist. No more shame.
Be you. Sit with yourself, just as you’d sit with a wounded dog. Sit quietly and calmly until you meet with your true self.
Look to your strengths and talents. It’s time to step into your greatness.
Being yourself sounds like the simplest thing in the world. Actually, it’s the hardest, though essential.
Look at the other blogs here, they pull together many of the pieces you need.

MAKING IT HAPPEN

Create a vision board (take a big piece of paper, find a stack of magazines. From the magazines cut out pictures of what you want your life to look like. Stick these onto the big piece of paper and hang it somewhere that you can look at it every day.

It’s hard for your dreams to come true if you don’t have any. When you create a vision board you start getting clear on your dreams and you attract them to you.

Journal about how you want to be. Not to be popular, but to be you, with integrity, your unique strength and happiness.

What do you need to put in place to take care of your struggles?

Join our tribe! It’s amazing how everything begins to shift when you no longer feel alone.

Check out this poem which sums is all up:

This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin

They f*ck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were f*cked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

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